No YOU are!

Monday, July 19, 2004

"those kind of pent up feelings that explode and take out everybody in a 20 metre radius. let it out."

I'm a victim of road rage! my brother and i were raged at! but it was kind of fun, i have to admit. here's how it went down.

We were in the car (a little white barina) driving home from uni at about lunch time. we were driving along the bypass. the speed limit is 90 km/h. we were doing 110-115 km/h, so we were speeding. we're naughty, i know. anyway, all of a sudden we hear this beeping coming from behind us. it's a lunatic in a blue daewoo. he wants us to speed up. he can't overtake us because there are cars next to ours in the other lane. anyway, Luke doesn't speed up, because

1) we're already speeding

2) It's raining, so it's probably not the greatest idea.

he keeps beeping at us, but we don't speed up. after a minute or so, there's a big enough gap in the traffic to allow him to overtake us. he does so, giving us the finger and mouthing 'f*** you' as he passes my window, and then continuing down the road, sticking his arm out the window giving us the finger. i found this absolutely hilarious. i mean, we weren't doing anything wrong, for starters. but even if we were, the fact that he got so worked up about virtually nothing was great entertainment. but it doesn't finish there, my friends. oh no. not by a long shot. anyway, at the end of the bypass, there is a set of traffic lights and a big intersection.

my brother and i have to turn right. so as we approach the lights, who should be stopped there, but our little hot tempered friend. he's in the 'driving straight ahead' lane. We move into the 'turning right' lane, and just as we slow to a stop, the lights change. only the right turn lane is moving, which means we start to move towards the corner. the psycho is in the next lane across, a few cars ahead of us. he sees our car moving towards his, and he winds down his window. he then SPITS AT OUR CAR!!!!!!! who does that!!??!!?? what a freak!

anyway, we keep moving, slowly, and as we draw up, window to window, he's swearing at us like there's no tomorrow, giving me the finger. well, us, but Luke was driving, so i was the only one really paying attention. i was giving him a commentary of what was going on next to us. anyway, the dude looked seriously pissed off at us. so i did what came naturally. i waved at him, gave him a big grin and mouthed 'bye!' and then i watched as we turned the corner and he stuck his arm out the window, giving us the finger again.

it was a proud moment. the safety of being inside the car really boosts your confidence, i must say. it felt damn good to antagonize the crazy man. childish and probably stupid, but who cares? i had a laugh, and that's what matters.

Posted at 2:47 pm by notverynice
Care to boost my ego a little?

Tuesday, July 13, 2004

"Temptation drags you down, takes you where you want to be"

Alright, alright. i know i've been neglecting my sacred blogging duties, and i appologise. there are multiple reasons for this, all of which can be summarised by the following statement: I'm lazy. i am lazy with a capital 'z'. so i'm laZy. i'm not ashamed of my laziness, and i will not hide it. i choose, instead to embrace it, and share my gift with the world. i was even thinking about starting some sort of lazy people support group where all us lazy people could get together and affirm our laziness. couldn't be bothered though.

before i go any further, i have to send a shout out to Alaine (her words, not mine). for all of you who don't know, which is everyone who reads this, pretty much, Alaine is from my sister's Rep netball team, and has had to suffer my company driving to and from Sydney for the last 3 weekends. hehehe "Hey, do you think in Spain, or wherever, when they play Uno, do they call it one? i really want to find out!". anyway, by writing this, i have earned my mini mars bar. thankyou for bearing with me.

went to Kate's place for a party on friday night. pretty awesom night, all in all. i had my doubts before i went, but it was fun. her human nature wall is nothing short of disturbing, though. and kate introducing everyone to a poster on her fridge as her husband was kind of odd. but it was a good night. Dannielle, Luke and i went on a munchies run at one stage, and that was just awesome. i think being drunk in a servo is just the best fun! i was looking around going "oooooh! look! icecream!...... icees!......... mentos!!!!!" everything's so colourful and well lit. it was great. i remember quite clearly the cashier guy saying 'that's $4.95', and me replying "really? coooooooool!" which must have sounded weird to him, but i was just excited because i didn't have to break my 20.

another highlight was Luke and i racing Shan's car down the street and her nearly running us over. i don't remember her nearly hitting us, but apparently luke and i veered in front of her at one stage, and she thought she'd clipped us. hehehe ah, drunken fools.

also discovered that diet coke mixed with port is mmm mmmm good. i don't remember who gave it to me, but i want to thank them for it.

a few revelations were made during the party. mainly speculations about certain things. and people. i would love to write about them right now, but i feel that i should find out if there's any truth behind them before i go spreading the rumours any further. so now that i've taunted you, i'll leave. i have to wash my hair. or something. peace out, y'all. oh yeah. i'm so cool. i'm one hip individual, that's for sure.

Posted at 5:02 pm by notverynice
Care to boost my ego a little?

Thursday, June 17, 2004

"there's more than one answer to these questions pointing me in a crooked line..."

Well, i am officially on holidays! for the next month i am a free agent! this means that all of you who keep having a go at me for missing group things can just stop. I'm kidding of course. i'm not going to rub salt into that particular wound quite so soon. anyway, i'm ready to enter the world of the living again.

My sister's off at touch football camp thingy, so the house is peaceful. there have been multiple dramas over her and 'the boyfriend' (cue the ominous music). all of these dramas have arisen over the fact that the two of them spent most of the evening last sunday lying on the couch together, getting quite close, if you catch my drift. anyway, my mum expressed her dislike for this behaviour, without explicitly stating why. she claimed that it was 'inappropriate for a girl of 15. i personally don't think that the actual behaviour was what mum was freaking out about, but rather what the behaviour implied about the extent of their relationship. i mean, if you're comfortable lying on the couch kissing and *stuff* in front of your parents, then what's going on behind closed doors?

i for one don't want to know. but i do so enjoy the petty arguments.

So now Jo, in emotional turmoil, has informed me that she and 'the boyfriend' are on a break. such a pity. now instead of talking on the mobile to him all night in her room, she has all this spare time in which she chooses to interact with the rest of the family. and she's now in a really bad mood, because she's not with her boyfriend. it's just not good. not good at all.

Oh, yeah. my friend Bingimon has made himself a blog. that should be a great read. i predict it will go something like this:

'today i slept in. then i sat around while my mother served me my meals and cleaned up my mess. it was exhausting. now i'm gonna ring jack and have her come entertain me. i'm hungry. i'm tired.'

there ya go, i saved you a trip.

i can't remember the address, so if you're at all desperate to go there, i'll post the addy on my tag board or something. i'll link to it when i can be bothered.

bye guys. in celebration of my newfound freedom, i'm planning to quietly go have a few swigs of the vodka that is cleverly concealed under my desk.

Posted at 8:33 pm by notverynice
Care to boost my ego a little?

Thursday, June 10, 2004

The Saga of Elise's Cravings

My name's Elise, and i'm a very, very stupid girl.

i won't say why. i'll just leave it at that. it's just a realisation i've had, and extremely amused by it, so i thought i'd just record this momentous occasion.

i have nothing to report, so in tradition of Terry's recent venture into poetry, i might compose a few line's of my own. i call it:

The Saga Of Elise's Cravings

There once was a girl called Elise,
Who really wanted some nutella
But alas!
There was no nutella in the pantry;
So Elise was forced to compromise,
And she ate a mandarine in stead
Because that was the only food
She could find.

The craving for nutella remained
Elise was sad.
And still hungry.
She would have setted for some of those
Ginger cookies that come in the bag of
Arnott's Assorted
But Alas!
There were no cookies in the pantry;
And Elise was hungry still.

She opened the fridge,
Her hopes high
Bit her spirits fell as she gazed
Upon the empty shelves
And observed a package of
Shaved Parmesan cheese.
I removed the package and ate some.
It was good, but
Not what i craved.

I remain unsatisfied.
Nutella! Nutella! Nutella!
I yearn for thee!
___________

Well i think that went quite well.

good night all.

Posted at 4:59 pm by notverynice
Care to boost my ego a little?

Thursday, June 03, 2004

"Freestyler"

Man, this green background is making my brain hurt. i gotta get around to changing it one of these days. i find it induces rage in me. i just come to this site, see the green, and get the urge to rip someone limb from limb. hmm. weird.

So i haven't seen the gang lately. kinda bummed about this, actually. i know there was that thing at Marks on Saturday, but i didn't find out about it until about 5 minutes before i left to go see 'the taming of the shrew' (thanks to my brother's crappy message-taking skills). i did briefly consider going to mark's afterwards, but seeing as i had to get a lift with Emma and her family, i pretty much just had to do what i was told. what a change of direction for me.

the play did kick arse though. completely worth my time. i especially liked the 'West side story' homage. i sat with Kate. she made the best calls all the way through it. my personaly favourite was when carl said something about a woman who had as many diseases as 250 horses, kate leaned over to me and whispered "Gabby". only funny if you know the whole Kate/Gabby saga that's been happening lately. basically, Kate was completely in love with this dude (danny), and then Gabby slept with him. if you want to know the full story, plus read the sms messages that accompany the argument, go see kate's site, which i've got linked.

had a bizarre moment with my sister in the kitchen before. i was just in the kitchen, having a glass of milk, and my sister came in. for some reason, i said to her "Free styler" (well, freestyluh, actually), because i had that stupid bombfunk M.C.s song in my head. she then proceeded to sing the song to me, doing her best impression of a hardcore rapper. which was funny in itself. but the best thing was, she didn't really know any words beyond 'freestyler', so she just approximated the sounds. just made up gibberish that sounded vaguely like the song. it was bloody hilarious. so i joined in. here we both were, rapping our lungs out, doing those lamme rapper hand things that they do, laughing ourselves stupid. the only line we knew was "Stereo with the freestyler" (which isn't actually the words. i just looked them up, and we didn't get any words right except the actual word 'freestyler'.) eventually we stopped and just kind of went on as though nothing had happened. i finished my milk, and Jo grabbed a yoghurt. we both walked out and didn't say another word. very odd. (Odd Mabel, very odd.)

Posted at 8:18 pm by notverynice
Care to boost my ego a little?

Tuesday, June 01, 2004

"10 foot leaning on a lizard's chest"

Hi Kids.

i was chased by an environmental dude at uni today. he was creepy. he was standing on a corner, selling greenie newspapers, and he asked me if i wanted one. i asked him if they were free. he said no. i said "well then, no. bye!". he started to follow me. i swear, he followed me all the way from the bridge to the front of the mcmullan building. i was kind of freaked. turned out that he was just moving to a different spot, but how was i supposed to know that?

my mother decided to ponder about my future again tonight. this time it was focussed on what age i was going to be married. this conversation has happened before. mum thought at first that i was just going to meet the one guy, and stick with him forever. once i rejected that idea, she and my sisters began to ponder. and then my marriage came into the conversation. my sister started the ball rolling by suggesting i'd be married by 26. i think not. it then went from 28 to 30, to 35 and so on. eventually my mum came to the conclusion that i was going to be a spinster. my sisters both agreed. it looks like i'm destined to die alone. *sigh*.

current favourite food: vitamin c tablets. yummmmm

current song of choice 'I need i want i will" by melissa Auf der Maur

Posted at 9:06 pm by notverynice
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Friday, May 28, 2004

"Am i fooling you, do you fall for it all or do you just see right through?"

I'm going to see 'Shrew' tomorrow!

i'm so pumped about it! wooooooooooo!

my gran bought me a jacket today! it's really nice! woooooooooooo!

i also bought luke's birthday prezzie today! it's useless, but funky! wooooooooooo!

i just drank a 1.5 litre coke in 20 minutes. wooooooooo! caffeine high!

and now i'm bored. it's friday night, and i have nothing to do. again. i shall sit and stare at the computer screen until midnight.

my sister let her friends cut her hair today. she's in trouble. i haven't seen it yet, but i'm hoping they've turned her into a mutant. it'd be cool.

my hands are cold. and my ankle's sore. while i'm listing my injuries, i might as well finish the list. i have a jarred finger, a graze on my calf, a bruise on my shoulder and a bruise on my ribs. my whole life is a contact sport. i should never leave the house without a mouth guard and a medieval type sheild.

and i think i'm rapidly coming down from the caffeine. now we enter phase 2: the grouchy, antsy, pent-up energy phase. for the next half hour or so, i will be sitting here, feeling pissed off that i have nothing to do. i hate this part of coke drinking. it's unsettling.

catch you later. i have to go practice my sighing.

Song of choice: "if you ever did believe" by Sheryl Crow
Clothing of choice: Striped Jeans and a blue jumper. and a black bandana.

Website of choice: the big brother site. laugh at me. go on. i know you want to.
Impulse buy of the day: Two packets of Sakatas. i ate both of them in one sitting for 'lunch'. lunch lasted for 3 hours.
Current favourite person: you. for reading my blog. even the fine print. you're lovely. let's do lunch some time.

Posted at 6:34 pm by notverynice
Care to boost my ego a little?

Monday, May 24, 2004

smnehgh

I had an awesome day today! it was honestly the best fun i've had in ages, even though i had to spend something like 9 hours at uni.

anyway, after going to my first class (medieval history), i spotted kate heading into the information common, so i chased her in there. it was all very stalkery. so i hung around while she was using the computer. then i spotted Lukey across the other side of the room, and so i went and bugged him for a while. it was exciting. then we headed over to the cafeteria, and i sat there with them. for something like 5 1/2 hours.

the fact that i completely blew off 2 lectures is irrelevant. i just had so much fun catching up with everybody there. besides kate and Luke, i saw Elese, Katie, Olivia, joe, Simone, Daniel, Melissa and some other people who obviously weren't entertaining enough to be remembered.

we talked about everything from Big brother, to 'shrew', to all the people who piss us off. some highlights of the day:

*the revival of the "Luke and Elise Beverages" (Mmmmmmmm..... Refreshing)

*Luke tying kate to her chair

*that weird guy that looked like luke and Danny's lovechild. really freaky.

*the continual 'gabby is a slut' puns ("because i'm easyyyyy........easy like Gabby Simpsonnnnn"

*the d&m luke and i had when everyone but us decided to actually attend a class. we discovered that neither of us really like very many people.

so that was my fantastic day. now i have to watch big brother nominations.

Posted at 8:36 pm by notverynice
Care to boost my ego a little?

Thursday, May 20, 2004

Danny Egghead gets married

good evening shoppers.

it's thursday, and with thursday comes thursday night shopping. of which i take no part in. partly because i'm broke, and partly because the swarms of skanky teens standing around sticking their chests out at the boys who are doing their best to act like they're all bad-arse gangstas all shit me to tears.

my sister's going though, with her 4 little skanky friends. which means they're all coming here beforehand for dinner. which means i'll have to interact with them. it's either speak to them or miss dinner, and nobody is getting between me and the food. nobody. so i guess i'll have to get dressed, or my sister may die of embarassment. right now i've kind of half gotten dressed. i didn't really make a conscious decision to change, i just sort of got cold, so i added layers. so i'm wearing my boxers, with a pair of cargos over the top, my ugg boots, a t-shirt and a flanelette pyjama top over the top. plus a black beanie. it's dead sexy.

had an interesting week, though. last week my mother found a lump in her breast, so my family went into panic mode for a week. i was freaking out, and my mum was freaking out. but the thing is, mum thought she was keeping it all a big secret from all of us kids. she didn't know that we knew, and we knew that she didn't know that we knew. so no one talked about it, except mum and dad, in hushed voices, when they though we weren't listening. which is how i found out in the first place. it it wasn't such a serious situation, it would have been bloody hilarious.

it turned out to just be a cyst, so all was alright in the end. mum came home on wednesday and told us, and we all just went "yeah, that's good mum. we all knew, anyway". i think she was a bit pissed off when we told her we'd known al along. her mind works in mysterious ways. it was like we stole her thunder or something. it was her big, dramatic moment, and we all responded with disinterest. heh.

oh lordy. i hate my sister's friends. we're getting pizza for dinner, and emily just said "you have to get a cheese one, because Jordan's a vegetarian". yep, a vegetarian that only eats chicken. last time i checked, the defenition of a vegetarian is pretty clear. there is no fuzziness there. no room for misinterpretation. last time i checked, eating chicken pretty much excludes you from the category. idiots. i know i may not be a genius. hell, i've even been known to have my share of downright stupidity. but god these chicks make me feel like a real intellectual.

i hit my head on the car door yesterday. it was funny. i just shook my head as i was getting into the car, and whacked my head because i sneezed. and now i have a bruise.

my brother got crashed into in the car today.

i appologise for the distinct lack of structure of this entry. i'm just trying to get everything out there, seeing as i've been so slack about updating. so, what else.....

my sister's in tamworth for hockey until tomorrow, which is nice. fewer arguments. i don't have to make polite conversation with her boyfriend. i can live like a slob.

oh god. a funny moment just occurred. live update from my living room. apparently mum doesn't want emily going shopping on thursday nights, because it's not safe. it'll be faster to just give you a general transcript.

mum: "I don't like you going up there on thursay nights emily. i don't remember giving permission for this"

em: "you did! ages ago! and why don't you like me going there on thursdays?"

mum: "it's not safe! there's all sorts of trouble up there! and last time i came to get you on a thursday night, you were surrounded by boys!"

em: "so?!!? they're just boys!"

me: "not boys! gosh emily! why aren't you going to the nun shops?"

mum: (glares at me) "don't be so sarcastic. i don't find that funny."

em: (cracks up in the back ground)

mum: "all sorts of trouble happens at charles town on thursday nights, especially outside. i know you don't believe me, but it's true. isn't it, Tony?"

dad: "yes. absolutely."

em: "like what?"

dad: (long pause) "i don't know..... lots of things."

and with that, my mother lost the argument. my dad is a crack up. he does the i'm-not-really-listening-so-i'll-just-agree-with-everything-she-just-said "yes dear" thing all the time. and it pisses my mum off so much.

i think that'll do for today. for now i have to concentrate on not losing my temper at my sister and her 4 little friends, who at the moment are bitching about some chick called Danica.

bye now.

Posted at 6:34 pm by notverynice
Care to boost my ego a little?

Sunday, May 16, 2004

ou est le chat?

today is sunday. the day of sun. and homework.

i had to prepare a lesson for my peer teach. i'm going to teach them all about sarcasm, irony and satire and things like that. it's going to be quite a show.

i also bought the new alanis morissette album today. i am already in love iwth it, but i guess listening to a cd 5 times in an afternoon will do that.

got thrashed in netball again yesterday. it's alright though. it's the best fun ever, so it doesn't really matter. i took a tumble for the first time in 3 weeks though, and got a pretty big graze on my calf. meh. stings like a bitch today. still, i guess if i'm going to play like a lunatic i have to learn to accept a few war wounds every now and again.

i was thinking that i might get my hair chopped soon. like reasonably short. just a thought. i'm sick of having long hair.

god, i am so clearly out of ideas. i might just quote some stuff.

firstly, Alanis morissette, from her song 'not all me' from the new album, 'so-called chaos':
"I wear their face on top of my face
I am the perfect target screen for your blindly-fueled rage"

secondly, words of wisdom from my sister:
"And then katrina blew the whistle about 5 seconds later, and we'd already got the ball into the circle, and we had to go all the way back to the other end, and they ended up geting an intercept and they scored! i mean, like, call advantage!"

Sarah from netball:
"Elise, i don't get how your legs are made of rubber or something"

my brain:
"kill, Elise. KILL!"

just kidding. it doesn't say kill. it just says maim.

Posted at 10:44 pm by notverynice
Care to boost my ego a little?